| private |
[25 Mar 2006|03:26pm] |
Ma-kun is having surgery. The cancer is still there.. in his lungs.. it made me finally quit smoking. Neji is staying with us for now. It doesn't look good for fucking Ma-kun at all. I don't know what to do for either of them. Maiko has really been doing the care taking. I still don't know what the fuck I'm doing half the time. She's a good girl. I'm glad I'm with her.
I dont know what the fuck to do with Ken. If Ma-kun... doesn't make it....
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| Filtered for ASK |
[05 Feb 2006|09:21am] |
Maiko is cute as a mother. Yeah, I used the word 'cute'. She seems happy, and as long as she stays that way then I'll be happy too. In fact, recently, that's all it's been about. Wanting to keep her happy. Not that she's a bitch or anything. I just... heh... found someone that's worth wanting to take care of.
Still working at Makoto as a song writer. It's not to bad, actually. One of their bands just had one of my songs hit the top 10. Not as good a feeling as if it had been ASK, but hey, there are just some things you can't go back to. Just took me for-fucking-ever to accept that.
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| [Filtered for ASK] |
[17 Dec 2005|12:28am] |
It's taken me some time to get this shit up here. I suck at updating this fucking thing. Haven't talked to you guys in ages but Maiko and I are together.. and things are great... sort of. Kyo is a cute kid. He looks like me. He'll be a real lady killer when he grows up. I'll teach him how to be suave. HOwever the fuck it's spelled.
Still workin at Makoto as a song writer.. it pays the fucking bills at least. And I'm gonna need to keep working because.. Maiko is pregnant again. Just shut the fuck up NOW before you decide to say shit about that. Can you belive this shit? I've had sex with her twice since I've known her, and this is the shit that happens. What. The. Fuck.
I'm startin to believe in fucking karma. Haha yeah right. Let me know how you guys are.
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| [Filtered for ASK] |
[13 Aug 2005|04:47pm] |
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Maiko's due really soon. We finaly picked a fuckin name for the kid. I didn't think that was ever gonna happen. I've been spending all my free time outside of work with her... and yeah.. bought her a ring. Nothing big, I mean... you know.. small gem.. promise ring i think it's called or some shit. We're back together... yeah.. I like her. I wanna do the right thing and I wanna be with her.
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[01 Aug 2005|07:15pm] |
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Bought Maiko-hime something today after months of saving. Don't expect it to go well. We'll see.
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[07 Jul 2005|07:39pm] |
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Maiko-hime has a belly like fucking buddah. It's fun to rub. Things are pretty fucking cool now that she's through .. well past that fuckin throwin shit up stage. Been thinkin about .. asking her out.. on a date.. you know.. heh.
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[26 Jun 2005|11:15am] |
Been spending a shit-load of time with Maiko-hime. Gotta. I'm gonna be a fucking dad. And well not just that. I wanna. I wanna be with her but.. well that's probably not an option for me thanks to screwing up so many months ago. But I'm gonna fucking be here for her. And I'll be a better dad than my old man was.
I picked up a side job at Makoto writing lyrics to continue to bring in money since we ain't working because of Ma-kun's cancer. It works, I'm getting paid the same. And fuck, I can't fucking believe they told me he has cancer. That shit sucks. I hope he gets better. Not because of the band, but because I still consider him (and Ken) to be my best friends, even if shit is different now.
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[04 Jun 2005|12:34pm] |
Spent my birthday with a very pregnant Maiko-hime. Had a good time tho. Was sober on my fuckin birthday for the first time in maybe 10 years. That was a new experience.
My bandmates are assholes. Thanks for the gifts. Heh.
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| [Private] |
[06 May 2005|11:30pm] |
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Ken and Ma-kun invited me over to tell me Ma-kun has fuckin cancer. Yeah, some fuckin scary shit that is. I dont know what the fuck to do for him though. I told em to call me if they needed anything but fuck now I feel like I need to be doin somethin.
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| [Private] |
[27 Apr 2005|01:57pm] |
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A fucking dad. Who the fuck isn't doin' their job up there by lettin me fuckin procreate. Heh. Yeah took Maiko to the appt last Friday. She's havin a boy and .. I'm gonna be a fucking father. I can't get over this shit.
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| wtf |
[20 Apr 2005|08:59am] |
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That little fucking shit from the art department got us all written up for bullying him or some shit. Fuck, if I'm going to get in trouble for giving someone a hard time, I should at least GET TO give them a hard time. I think I'll seek him out at work just for that.
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[15 Apr 2005|01:28pm] |
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Some little shit from the NG department came by to stir up trouble. Guess he split pretty fast when Ken and Mahiru put him in his place. Heh.
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| Phone message: |
[10 Apr 2005|10:47am] |
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Message left for Maiko: Just calling to see if you're ok and if you need anything. Give me a call.
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| [Private] |
[10 Apr 2005|10:47am] |
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I visited Maiko last week. Shindou bought her a new apartment. I don't want the guys to know I went because I really don't need to be razzed. She's pregnant with my fucking kid, I need to be there. If not for her, than for the kid. She said I could help pick out the name... she would consider it. Eh. Anyway, someone paid her medical bills, but that fuckin annoyed me because I wanted to help out with that shit. Dunno why, just did. I wrote he a check for everything in my account and gave her the cash I had on me. I hadn't been spending money so it was just sitting there. It's a good thing we get regular paychecks from Makoto, so it's not that bad. Anyway, I should call her soon so I can see how she is.
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| L.A.I.D. |
[29 Mar 2005|11:36am] |
[filtered for ASK]
Yep. Advice taken.
Scored.
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| [Filtered for ASK] |
[20 Mar 2005|10:42pm] |
So Maiko called.
Asked me to go over.
When I get there, want to know what she says? "You going to help with this baby?" Or some shit. Christ. Pissed me off. Had to drive all the way the hell over there for that? She could have asked that shit on the phone. Told her I wanted to help from the beginning but what was I gonna do, wait around until 3-4 months later for her to tell me that she wanted me or something? Well, maybe she doesn't. Whatever. I told her I'd pay her bills and help with the kid. But I've given up on her.
She's probably given up on me too. Better that way.
For me. Haha.
Shit, now I can be a fucking bacholer again.
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| [Filtered for Ask] |
[27 Feb 2005|10:28am] |
Heh. Fucking hell. Had some time to think and - hello? what the fuck? A kid? Me a father? Feel bad for the fucking kid. Shit. I don't know what the fuck to do with Maiko. Damn, she was bitchy before which was funny as shit but now it's just bitchy-nasty and I dont even want to fuckin deal with that fucking crap. Mood swings. Heh. Haven't seen her now since I stayed at her place last week.
And why the fuck haven't you guys shown up to work?
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| [Filtered for ASK] |
[06 Feb 2005|01:10am] |
I think I'll have to assume it's officially over. I don't know where Maiko is and she hasn't called me back. What-fuckin-ever. I'll just be throwing myself back into fuckin ASK again. We need to get shit done on this album. I got lyrics done now for 23 songs. I'll let Ken and Mahiru decide which to put music to.
edit: heh, on a side note, I suppose I should check my fuckin' voice mail every now and then. She left to go see Shindou who is on tour. Shit. Do you know how dead I am when they get back? I feel another moose coming on. It must be an epidemic.
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| [Private Entry] |
[31 Jan 2005|10:16pm] |
Haven't spoken to Maiko in a while now. I wonder if I'm just suppose to move the fuck on without know what she fucking plans on doing with ... heh ... whatever. She hasn't called or anything.
Talked to Ken about shit, he susggested to talk to Mahiru. Knew that shit would be a mistake. He didn't understand. I had to practically spell itout that I loved her. He didn't believe me that she wasn't the type to go sleeping around. Fuck it. Maybe she is and just hides it. No.. no I can't believe that shit.
*sigh*
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[31 Jan 2005|10:05pm] |
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Voice mail left for Maiko: I know you said you needed time, but you've left me in the dark completely. I'm worried about you and what you've been doing. You haven't been home when I've tried to stop by. Please call me and tell me what's going on.
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not_listening's journal